the catholic nurse all sensitive caring noticing everything what can she think of my hot/cold torment
always near blowing it living in the fast lane so friendly kind the girls dewy eyed wanda abandoned me bolton is in my hands
and yet my coldness hurts the more emotional they stay trying to find a reason for my ice-like suspicion fish eyes coldly indifferent eyes suspect everything that moves
socialising just to be loud compensate for cold lack of essential trust warmth i love them despite myself my desire to love is unconscious and gigantesque
i never know when i'm going to miss someone strange coldness perplexing i've got to work to get devotion but once i get it i really get people on my side there are my people who can survive my shark-like coldness and there are those who want something more personal i can be very devoted to those who can stay the course
my soul is aching for an impartial love of people i'm at war with myself.
"Strange Coldness Perplexing" was forged using notes scrawled onto seven sides of an ancient now coverless notebook, possibly late at night following an evening's carousal, and in a state of serene intoxication. The original notes were based on experiences I underwent while serving as a teacher in a highly successful central London school of English, which I did between what I believe to have been the spring, or summer, of '88 and the summer of 1990.