When I was just a little girl
I knew something about me wasn't right
I spent most of my days angry
and I couldn't sleep at night
I found myself looking in the mirror at the age of nine
thinking to myself that I was fat
I thought that way until the age of thirteen
and that's when things got really bad
I spent most of my days sitting in my walk-in closet
writing poems as Green day blasted in my ears
I'd sit in the shower and cut myself
and let my blood collide with my tears
Not letting myself eat gave me some control
on what I was feeling all of the time
Even though I was always hurting
I would smile and tell everyone that I was fine
I poured my heart into my writing
everything made sense on paper
I felt relieved in some ways
when others treated me like a social loser
I was alone in this world of confusion I couldn't understand myself
All I could do was cry
because I was different from everybody else
The scars on me do not scare me
they remind me that I am not crazy
They remind me that I am human
with a past that is really messy
I still don't know what is wrong with me
if I could fix myself I would
Whatever I have will always be a part of
causing me to always be misunderstood.