I toss and turn as monsters hunt me in my dreams . I wish and pray for a fairy godmother who can return me to my mothers womb. Being born was not my agreement to this cold harsh world.

I used to find answers at the bottom of a bottle and happiness at a touch of razor blade .. Then life came and told me stories about stupid friends and fake sunsets . He told me or happy endings tied in a bow and I felt for it . Every **** bit.

I tore myself down and hoped that I could be better everyday. That I could fit the picture that they were looking for  but I never did . Instead I told myself lies because I needed to sleep at night . Even for an hour before God switched the lights back on.

I now realize pain is not something you leave behind , it owns you for life so why denied it? Your shadow leaves you but your blade never does . And trust me you can fbe me love at the bottom of a bottle .