Please leave your message after the tone, though I’ll probably never get back to you.
Gaffer, Phil here, can you drive a car with three wheels.
Paul, Sheryl, I’m leaving you for a Canadian lumberjack, don’t try and talk me out of it.
Gaffer, Micky here, that bird Tasmin you hooked me up with, she wants to try the buddha position, what the hell is it.
Gaffer, Phil, I’ve been arrested, ******* fifty quid in the license, you *******.
Paul, Sheryl, you would just let me go off with a Lumberjack, you *******.
Mr Gaffney, do you know you’re entitled to five thousand pounds for that accident you had three years ago. Phone us.
Paul, Linda here, I’ve left Tony, can I crash at yours for a few days.
Paul, Nurse Jackie here at the Psychiatric  hospital, just an update from the doctor, he’s still in two minds.
Gaffer, Phil here, can you come and bail me out.
Paul, Sheryl, I’ve dumped the Lumberjack, going out with Hans now, my soul mate.
Paul, Tracy down at the STD clinic, your tests are clear, and no, I don’t want to celebrate with you.
Gaffer, Micky, that Tamsin's a guy, what the hell is wrong with you.
Gaffer, Phil, are you coming or what.
Paul, Linda, We’re going to give it another go.
Paul, Sheryl here, I’m giving you one more chance, I could have my pick of  guys, why the hell I picked you only god knows, I’m coming round now.
Paul, This is the sunshine retreat holiday company, your immediate sabbatical is now ready when you are.
Paul, nurse Jackie here at the Psychiatric hospital, is the doctor at yours.