in the beginning it was only hope and dust and fragments
of a grave never visited, never touched.
you talk with your hands, you leave your palms
resting on your chest.
i was never meant to be.
i was never meant to come alive.
and all you ever did to find me was die.
that was it. that was me lying in bed
deciphering messages.
i could not be convinced
of coincidence.
but i wanted to believe.
to have something.
i always knew, i always thought
i will not rest.
maybe i am still scared to rot.
scared that i will burn,
that when i get a good look at you,
that will be it. i will be done.
i will be silenced. i will become
your phantom. i am not the limb
you missed. i am not the wind.
i am faith and gut and circumstance.
that is all we are.
that is all it took for me to find you.
to love you.
but you,
you had to die.