Remember a few months back
Where I dropped the first shoe?
When I came stumbling into your life on a whim,
A simple message sent
A vague curiosity.

Now, before we hash out where I went wrong since then
Before we map out just where I lost your interest
Before you tell me that I'm "just a friend"
Before you tell me you've moved on
Before all of that

You once asked me
Why.
Said you were waiting for that other shoe to drop.
Waiting for the reason behind my curiosity
And conversation.
Waiting for the not so pleasant end to my interest.

But let me tell you something, handsome.
The moment you responded,
The very instant you turned your head
I was scared.
That first night
When you walked instead of slept,
When you shared stories and warmth in the rain,
When you leaned forward, cross-legged on the floor
And kissed me,
I was terrified.
How could I, the girl trying to be a woman,
Controlled and bullied by her fears,
Ever
Ever come to deserve the affection of a man like yourself.

I knew then as I know now,
Though I tried for those 3 months to forget,
That I cannot be worthy of affection
From a man who can love so intricately as you.

You are beautiful,
and I was frightened before I was even yours,
That the day would come when I would lose the treasure of your inclination.

And I have.
And now there is nothing to do,
But wait for you
To drop the other shoe.