Jul 2015
I suppose you were always part of my life,
Standing somewhere in the background.
But I never truly
Paid you any mind.
Until one day.
Without warning or without noticing why,
We fell into a companionship like no other.
By your touch I was healed
Of a life long illness,
Vanished like the snow.
Thankful, I let you into my home.
Through keeping our distances
We became closer than expected.
But past your ability to heal,
You had the power to cast a sickness upon me
That still follows me,
Even after all these years.
No matter.
I loved the sickness
And I loved the pain.
Standing somewhere in the background.
But I never truly
Paid you any mind.
Until one day.
Without warning or without noticing why,
We fell into a companionship like no other.
By your touch I was healed
Of a life long illness,
Vanished like the snow.
Thankful, I let you into my home.
Through keeping our distances
We became closer than expected.
But past your ability to heal,
You had the power to cast a sickness upon me
That still follows me,
Even after all these years.
No matter.
I loved the sickness
And I loved the pain.
This is only a portion of a rather lengthy poem I wrote while undergoing therapy. My therapist suggested I write down my struggles to better identify them. Depression has always weighed heavy in my life, but it was while attending this therapy that we discovered how much music was affecting my depression. This poem explains the different kinds of effects music had on my depression, and ultimately on my life. I also hope to shed light on the truth of depression and how it can often times feel like a toxic relationship you can not get out of.
