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Feb 2019 · 127
Jon (XIII)
Angela Moreno Feb 2019
My greatest fear
Is that you will find your own
In my love for you.
That I could some way, some how
Love you too much,
That you no longer know
How to receive it.
And then what shall become of me?
For what else do I know,
Than to love you?
I love you.
I love you.
Oct 2017 · 364
Jon (XII)
Angela Moreno Oct 2017
I despise you and my love for you,
For a love like this can not be true.
Infatuated by you,
As I should no longer be,
Yet I would die for you,
You just as my friend.
I resent you and everything that you are,
Every kiss I want to place on each of your scars,
The things that I hate,
Have me dreaming at night,
And it is only you
I will have at life's end.
I refuse to believe our love could be real,
Everything I know, everything I feel,
Could it all be true?
Or is it just a game?
I love you, my darling,
I can not pretend.
I can not find a thing that keeps you in my heart,
But I know that nothing could ever keep us apart.
I love you, like heaven,
Like what I could not see,
You are my world,
Until our bones descend.
May 2017 · 529
Jon (XI)
Angela Moreno May 2017
Fall into these arms,
My darling.
Rest your head on my chest.
Never mind the words you spoke
That hurt me so,
I am aware of only your pain.
Under my breath
I repeat the prayer
For God to take it from you
And lay it on my shoulders,
To allow you silence of mind
For just a few moments.
Close your eyes now,
My sweetest.
There is no one left.
Just you and I
In a night of still darkness.
Fall asleep now
On my breast
And be still,
Be still,
As I breathe you in
And you breath in I,
In a long-waited quiet calm,
With nothing but two hearts beating,
And one broken soul.
May 2017 · 386
Jon (X)
Angela Moreno May 2017
Was loving you
Intended to be
The thing
To make me happy?
Or was it only
A reassurance
That I
Was still able
To feel?
May 2017 · 414
Jon (IX)
Angela Moreno May 2017
I waited in agony
For years to be yours.
I waited in pain
For the day I could love you
Without loving from a distance.
But no one told me
That loving you
Would hurt just as badly
As when I could not.
May 2017 · 419
Jon (VIII)
Angela Moreno May 2017
You hurt me
More than you realize,
And I love you
More than you will ever know.
May 2017 · 1.4k
Jon (VII)
Angela Moreno May 2017
I love you.
With all of my being I love you.
To take a bullet for you,
I would not hesitate.
My only request would be
To please aim for the brain
And not the heart,
So that my heart remains in tact
To continue loving you
For as long as the sky stretches
And as deeply as the ocean rests.
Mar 2017 · 700
Jon (VI)
Angela Moreno Mar 2017
I love the way the sun rises
And peaks through my curtains,
Casting sharp figures of light on my ceiling,
For it reminds me
Of the flecks of white
That fill the gaps of blue
In your eyes.
The sun pouring through my window
Guarantees that you are the first thought
To cross my mind
In the early morning.
It promises that every day
Before I even rise,
I have thought of you
And your mirroring freckles
On either side of your face
Right above your lips,
And of the chip on your tooth
That reveals itself each time you laugh
Making me thankful
That I have found the one
I want to share my life with
And the one I want to fall asleep to
Every night.
Mar 2017 · 570
Jon (V)
Angela Moreno Mar 2017
Leave me.
Please leave me.
Because I could never leave you.
But I know
That as long as we are together
I will only ever keep hurting you.
I love you.
Jon, I love you so much.
I wake up, and I think of you
Before I even think about breathing.
I would die for you
Without hesitation.
I really do mean that.
But every day I wake up
And I resent myself more and more
For the many ways
That I have hurt you.
Hurting you
Was the very last thing
I ever intended to do.
I would die before
I ever intended to hurt you.
And yet I have done it.
And continue to do it.
I don't deserve you.
I can't even pretend to deserve you.
Please leave me
Before I ever hurt you again.
Oh my sweetest,
I have never loved anyone
The way I love you.
Feb 2017 · 537
Jon (IV)
Angela Moreno Feb 2017
Every part of you is beautiful.
Every thing I can see,
Every thing I can touch.
Every thing that is you.
To see you
Is to sit in more awe
Than one thousand sunsets could provide.
To hear your voice,
To simply hear your breathing
Is to hear angels singing
And babies being born.
The smell of your skin
Sends me somewhere very far away,
Some place perfect and peaceful
And full of wonder.
The taste of your lips
Is sweeter than any nectar or honey
Than this earth could ever offer.
And the touch from your hand
Is absolute ecstasy
That I have never known.
And yet,
In all your beauty
I know that I do not need eyes to be in awe,
And without my ears
I would still hear singing.
Though I love the linger
Of your skin on my own,
I would remember you without your scent,
Sweet and beautiful.
I need no mouth to love you,
And had I no hands,
I could still feel you
And love you all the same.
For it is what rests in your heart
That I desire
To cherish and protect and love.
It is something deeper than my senses,
Far beneath your skin,
And closer to the soul.
It is the same thing
That allows me
To place my head on my pillow tonight,
Peaceful and contented
Despite the chaos
In the world about me.
Feb 2017 · 760
Angela Moreno Feb 2017
She blooms in the darkest season.
She is the light you crave.
She gives all she has
To be beautiful for you,
To be presentable,
And to be joy in darkness.
She stands in grace,
Trying to fulfill every expectation
Set before her.
But even the amaryllis
In all her beauty,
Soon grows tired
And hunches
And sighs
And dies.
Feb 2017 · 744
Jon (III)
Angela Moreno Feb 2017
I do not mean to be so difficult.
I do not mean to be irrational.
I do not mean to hide away from you,
And lie when you ask about my feelings.
It's not me.
It's you.
It's entirely you.
Because all I care about is you.
I pray for your well being
Far beyond my own.
You are my every waking thought.
You are my every peaceful dream.
You are every light I have ever seen
Since the day you vanished my darkness.
You are every perfect lovely thing
That not even in a hundred years
Could all the finest poets think up.
You are peace and perfection
And beauty incarnate.
You are my world.
But you are also every worry
That I have ever had.
You are every tear
That has ever fallen from my eye.
You are every heartache
I have ever endured.
You are every sleepless night
That has ever plagued me.
And yet I can not let you go.
For how could I let
Heaven's most beautiful creation
Slip through my fingers
As if I did not know what I had??
As if I did not know
That you are the miracle I saught.
As if I did not know
That I am blessed beyond all blessings.
I'm sorry I'm an *******.
Feb 2017 · 337
Jon (II)
Angela Moreno Feb 2017
I know not what love is,
For my heart instead is one of pain,
If not anger and regret.
I knew nothing of tenderness
Until you took me strongly in your arms.

In your arms I am safe,
Hidden behind a steel gate,
Safe from the bombardment
Of thought, of doubt, of loneliness.

And yet in your strength
I find a certain soft something,
Sweet like honey and salted like tears.
It is the thing that moves me
To return this tenderness.
To hold you like a child in my arms,
To kiss your forehead,
And give you what is left
Of this tired, bleeding heart--
A pathetic offering, but sincere
As all I have to give.

Jon, my love, there is peace and perfection here
To see you sleeping by my side
And to know if I have ever loved
I have loved you.
And with all of my being.
Feb 2017 · 651
Angela Moreno Feb 2017
I hope that when I die,
They find every letter
I ever wrote you,
Every poem
I penned for you,
Every recording of every song
I ever sang for you,
And every day,
Every memory,
I recorded on paper with pen
So that they may know for certain
How much I always loved you
And how much I always will.
Jan 2017 · 606
Not Your Baby Anymore
Angela Moreno Jan 2017
I think I was only ever in love
With the thought of you.
I fall in love with many thoughts.
Thoughts of creating,
Thoughts of death and immortality,
Thoughts of hell
And dangerous mystery men.
Yet I remind myself to separate it:
Wants and Thoughts,
Thoughts and Wants.
They are not one in the same.
I like to think that I did not forget
To pick apart this time.
That I did not confuse you
As a thought but not a want
Or a want but not a thought.
I had hoped I got it right.
But this morning I woke up
And realized
I don't want to be your baby anymore.
Jan 2017 · 325
Until Tomorrow
Angela Moreno Jan 2017
I'm jealous of the person I am when I am with you.
Jan 2017 · 529
Wasted Apologies
Angela Moreno Jan 2017
I fear I have used up
All my apologies
On foolish little mistakes
I never should have
Wasted my time on.
And if all my apologies are spent,
How then can I ask
For your forgiveness
Over this horrid thing I have done?
How can I ever face you?
I am so sorry.
I am a wild animal,
A beast.
I should have warned you before.
There is no excuse for my sin.
Just absence of control of my skin.
I could never expect you to forgive
Someone like me.
I know I never could.
Now you know the truth.
Jan 2017 · 711
Angela Moreno Jan 2017
You tell me that you love me.
And I believe you.
But you only love me
As much as you have to.
You only love me
As much as is expected of you.

Sometimes I am jealous
Of my own love for you.
I wonder what it must be like
To be loved that much.
To have someone willing
To not only die for you
But to live for you.

I wish I could love you less.
I wish our love could be equal.
But instead your lack of love for me
Is matched by my undying love for you.
There is no balance between us,
Only one parched and dry
And the other overflowing with love.
Jan 2017 · 309
Angela Moreno Jan 2017
All I want
Is to be with you forever
But I know
My commitment skills
Are filthy and nearly nonexistent.
Not that I would ever
Be unfaithful to you
With another man--
That you never need to fear--
But I know
There will be days
When you feel more alone
Than before you were with me,
Because in being consumed
By the need to make art,
I will forget you exist.
There will be days
When I wake up
With nothing on my mind
But words and paint,
Leaving you in bed
Only to roll over and find sheets
Where your mate promised to be
Every morning.
There will be days,
When you spy me
With ink and paint on my fingers
And distracted by my own hands,
And the hope that they will make,
I will forget
To touch your own.
There will be days
When you experience
The coldest loneliness,
While I destroy the house,
Trying to shake myself
Of creative drought.
With me,
You will know true loneliness,
And how it does not come
From an empty house,
But from the distance you feel
From the person
Who vowed to love you the most.

And for this, I say goodbye.
I will always love you. I just don't know how.
Dec 2016 · 311
Angela Moreno Dec 2016
I'm not asking for your word,
And you don't need to fear commitment,
Because I do not ask for that either.
You can use me all you like--
I promise I can be
Just like a little doll.
I ask for no promises before,
No duties after,
And everything in between
Is all on your terms.
All I ask,
Is that you hold me
For just a few minutes after.
Hold me as if I were yours.
Because sometimes it's nice to pretend.
Dec 2016 · 409
Angela Moreno Dec 2016
I loved you
Beyond our fleshly passions.
But it only took a second,
When I looked away
For me to lose you
In the sun.
Angela Moreno Dec 2016
I love you.
And when the hills stop breathing
I still love you.
And when the storms stop rushing
I still love you.
And when the world stops turning
I still love you.
And when the oceans dry and earth crumbles
I find
That I know nothing else
But my love for you,
And unshaken
By the quaking earth.
Dec 2016 · 351
Angela Moreno Dec 2016
Peace and self justification
Is all I seek
Amongst the racket
Of this corpse house--
But all I find is noise.
I could shoot myself
For second guessing this all,
But what's worst is knowing
That it's not a guess.
I know
That I will only ever
Be your heat.
Who's to stop me?
I hate the taste,
But I love the buzz.
Dec 2016 · 458
Angela Moreno Dec 2016
They told me I am good,
But I do not wish to be good.
And I am certain
That upon reaching greatness,
I will not be satisfied with that either.
Perfection can never be achieved,
But who is to say
That it should stop being chased?
Dec 2016 · 274
Angela Moreno Dec 2016
He gave me a forever
In a world
Where we are only ever promised
A handful of years
And a life worth nothing more
Than a short vapor in the wind.

How do you thank someone
For something like that?
Dec 2016 · 235
Angela Moreno Dec 2016
You are everything
I have ever hoped to find
In another person.
*God I hope I don't **** this up.
Nov 2016 · 487
Angela Moreno Nov 2016
It kills me
To see you hurting.
It hurts me to know
That there is nothing I can do.
Oh sweetheart,
If I could make your pain my own
I would.
Heaven knows how I try.
Nov 2016 · 233
Angela Moreno Nov 2016
What am I without you?
Am I not still a person?
Am I not still an individual
Perfectly capable
Of not just surviving
But succeeding without you?
I have tasted many lives
Before you showed your face,
And in those lives I have lived
And the lives have been grand.
Without you I am still a person.
And this person lives
And does not cease to exist
When company is not present.
But when given the choice,
Should I choose a life without you
When I am still a person,
But not nearly half the person
I am when I am with you?
Without you I am still a person whole,
But with you I am that person
And ten thousand times more.
I can live without you,
But why would I desire
To be a great person,
With the greatest part of me absent?
The part that is you
And all that you are,
Nov 2016 · 691
Arms like Walls
Angela Moreno Nov 2016
I always loved that movie,
Particularly the part
When he asks her
Why the city has no walls
And therefore how can it shield itself?
She answers readily by explaining to him
That most of the dangers
The city will ever face
Come from the inside.
It is the same sort of dangers
I feel a safety from
While in your arms.
Inside of the fold of your arms
I find safety.
Not from any outside threat
That may be lurking,
But a quiet safety from the constant war
Inside of my own mind.
When I am within your arms
The war grows calm and silent,
In a way it never does.
The feeling like I can never catch a breath
Disappears at the touch of your hand,
And for once I can breathe.
Inside of your arms,
I can do what should come naturally,
But I can never seem to accomplish.
I can breathe.
I can breathe.
With you
I can just be.
Nov 2016 · 381
Angela Moreno Nov 2016
Sometimes when he is going on and on,
Rambling in that passionate way he does,
I haven't the slightest clue
What he is talking about
Yet I pray that he never stops,
I look at him and think to myself,
"There it is.
Everything I have ever looked for
In another human being
Is right here in front of me."
And I wonder how on earth
I got so lucky.
Nov 2016 · 238
Angela Moreno Nov 2016
We make quiet love inside your basement
Just out of earshot of your sleeping mother,
I wonder if for the first time I have found forever,
Or if I should just add you to my list of lovers.
But there is something about the way you hold me,
Subtle safety like the walls of New York City
With both minds mutually as hideous as the other,
Heaven knows I do not need your pity.
We talk about leaving this hick town,
Getting married and moving to a different coast,
But it is nothing more than a pretty dream,
A mental escape from the things we fear the most.
Tomorrow morning everything changes,
Tomorrow morning life goes on as we do.
Tomorrow night you will find someone else,
But for the now please just pull me through.
Nothing ever stays the same in this town,
And not a single thing ever changes.
There is no such thing as ever after here,
We are eternally rats inside of our cages.
But beside you is an incomphrensible sightly sweetness,
I can not explain the way it makes me feel.
And just like the world spins at the hand of Jesus,
We are spinning like a wheel,
We will keep spinning like a wheel.
Nov 2016 · 347
Envious Sun
Angela Moreno Nov 2016
Waking up,
With my head
Pressed into your shoulder,
And you with a kiss
Upon your cheek--
It is mornings like this
That leave me certain
That the sun rises
But for no other reason
Than to catch a glimpse
At the beautiful picture
That is us,
Jealous that the moon
Should get to see
All the beauty
That is you and I.
Nov 2016 · 301
Angela Moreno Nov 2016
The door was jammed open
With some rusted *****
To prevent us from being locked out
And into the night.
The chill of the night
And the strength of the nicotine
Had us feeling just like
The floating candles inside.
It's scary.
It's scary to think
That maybe we are in love.
That maybe this is all real.
That maybe we have the greatest
That anyone will ever have.
Especially when we think
That we really are nothing,
Just two young kids,
Holding each other through the night,
Thinking we are something,
Yet fully aware
That we, just like the rest,
Will soon fade to dust in the wind,
Our short vapor
Just air,
Fading out into oblivion,
Just as everyone else.
Nov 2016 · 604
Angela Moreno Nov 2016
I never intended to lose you that night.
I was wasted out of my mind--
Treating my young irresponsibilities
With more irresponsibility.
They said you left crying and in a daze.
In a certain sense,
I'm glad I didn't see you.
Not like that.
It would have broken me.
I just can't help but think,
That if I had,
Would I instead have held you through the night,
Before I let you become a victim of the night?

I'm so sorry.
When will I learn?
Nov 2016 · 494
Roadside SOS
Angela Moreno Nov 2016
Why am I still doing this?
The road no longer offers
What I had hoped it would offer.
I ran out of my money weeks ago,
And the only money these gigs offer
Are just enough to get me
To my next gig.
Every morning I wake up inside my car,
Frost on my windshield and hair,
Not sure where I'm going next,
But not ready to go home.
I smoke some stranger's
Thrown away half cigarette for breakfast ,
And put all of my trust
In Paul Simon and Adam Duritz
To get me to my next stop alive.
I haven't written a new song in months,
And all the ones I keep playing
Have grown old and stale--
Maria being the only song I can still sing
With passion.
Yet I keep doing it,
My todays following my yesterdays,
Each day a shadow of the last.
I found an old Carole King CD
Underneath my passengers seat,
And I let it remind me that someone
Is still riding next to me.
Reno sounds nice.
I might go there next.
I pop in the CD,
Hoping to find some comfort,
But all I hear is Carole's voice
Reminding me of everyone
Who is still so far away.
Nov 2016 · 335
Me and Moths
Angela Moreno Nov 2016
I pity these dead moths
And their foolish minds.
They lie in rest
Under the very same street light
That they died for.
I can not help but to think
That if only these moths
Could aquire some wisdom,
They could learn to desire the light
The same way I desire you:
Knowing that the second I touch
I get burned,
Yet remaining as close as possible,
So that I may experience
The beauty
Of your warmth and radiance
Without ever truly touching.
Nov 2016 · 1.4k
First Kiss
Angela Moreno Nov 2016
In the moment before
Your lips touched mine
In the shadow of the night,
I envisioned night's darkest darkness
Fill the space between our lips.
I imagined it disappearing slowly
As our lips grew closer,
The dark space between us
Waning like the moon
That watched us that night
In quiet secret.
Nov 2016 · 251
Angela Moreno Nov 2016
It would be nice
To believe that this is real.
But I can hear past
The crack in your voice.
You keep saying,
"I love you."
But all I hear is,
"I'm so lonely right now."
Oct 2016 · 616
Angela Moreno Oct 2016
Beads of sweat ,
Breath down necks,
And the prayer
That this is destiny
For more than a few minutes.
Perhaps at least two of us
Will outlive our teenage lust
And find out what it means to love.
The rest of us
Will all stay stuck
And marry some pretty face
Belonging to a person
We will never know.
Oct 2016 · 329
The One Who Leaves
Angela Moreno Oct 2016
I wake up
To the mist of his breath
On the back of my neck,
The smell of alcohol still lingering.
I roll away
From the grip of his arm
And sit up in the bed.
I might be the only one awake,
Which gives me a good chance to leave
Before I have to make an effort.
I step out of bed
And head for the door.
But as I walk away,
I look back at him once more.
He was a nice guy,
Wasn't pushy
Or aggressive.
He might even be worth
Trying to make something work.
A tingling hint of guilt
Dances in my stomach,
Then flees just as quickly
As I see him sleeping so peacefully.
He was a nice guy.
But for once,
It will be nice
To be the one who leaves
And not the one
Who gets left in bed.
Oct 2016 · 303
Night Talks with Joseph
Angela Moreno Oct 2016
I spent last night
With a homeless man.
He asked to *** a cigarette,
And next thing you know,
Hours passed
Just sitting on a New York bench,
And talking about life.
He told me about his dream
To be an astronaut,
And how he would give anything
To tell his mother he was sorry.
At one point,
He put his hand on my chest
And felt my heart beating
For a few seconds.
He looked into my eyes
And asked me why I was so sad.
No reason.
I'm not sad.
It's just cold,
And I was just thinking
That August never sticks around
As long as I'd like.
Oct 2016 · 333
Angela Moreno Oct 2016
I know the rules.
We don't talk about the morning after,
And we never mention the night before.
I know he didn't love me,
And in a certain sense,
It doesn't matter.
I no longer ask to be loved.
I'm pretty sure love isn't real anyhow.
But it would just be nice
To not wake up alone
For once.
Oct 2016 · 276
What the Moon Sees
Angela Moreno Oct 2016
Every ounce of your beauty
I have touched,
For you display it
And give it away so freely.
But, darling, what I would do
To touch the darkest parts of you,
To finally know you complete,
To taste the stories that you hide away.
You say that there is nothing
But beauty and love and joy.
But, baby, I see it in your eyes,
The darkest parts of your nights
When you sit alone and cry
With no one but the moon watching.
Oct 2016 · 307
Small Town Punks
Angela Moreno Oct 2016
The air is heavy
With smoke
And the sound of the bass.
We think we're the baddest thing
Since 1976 England.
But deep down
We all know the truth.
We're all just a bunch of nerds
Rescued by rock and roll
And hoping to get out.
Oct 2016 · 582
Morning Cigarette
Angela Moreno Oct 2016
The morning breeze
Eats away at my cigarette
Before my lips even touch it.
Looks like a storm is coming,
And God I hope one is--
It would be nice to know
That someone as significant
As the planet
Is feeling the same way I am.
The morning dew
Soaks from this porch step
Onto my jeans,
And I consider all the expectations
I never met.
My fingertips turn to icicles,
Despite a light being inches away,
As I stare at the stream
And wonder if Andy really did jump that night.
I think of saying goodbye,
Running away from marrying a stranger,
Hoping to be a cobweb in somebody's life,
Catching every little thing
That floats by.
But instead here I am,
Lost in time none the less,
After all the lies I told Adam,
And wondering if I could only see the ocean,
Would he choose to forgive me.
Oct 2016 · 500
Lonely Skins
Angela Moreno Oct 2016
I hate that I should feel guilty
For being lonely.
As if my loneliness
Translates to me being needy,
When some girl much prettier than I
Reminds me
That there is always someone
Underneath my covers.
But with all this skin on skin,
Why do I feel so out of touch?
Where is the feeling of feeling
That I crave so much?
And why does the man sleeping next to me,
The one who just learned more about me
Than even I know,
Feel so much like a stranger?
Angela Moreno Oct 2016
Hold me so closely,
With your promises
To never let me go.
Squeeze me so tightly
And tell me about
Your wish to consume me whole.
Kiss my lips
So softly
And do not apologize.
Press replay tonite
And just as often
As you would like.
Stay inside this bed.
Just do not love me.
You do not want to love me.
Oct 2016 · 411
Eternal Rest (Growing Old)
Angela Moreno Oct 2016
I recall the first time
I heard my bones crackle
When I rolled out of bed.
It was the same morning
That I saw that wrinkle by my eyes--
It was thin and new.
Thin and new,
But defined.
It was definitely there.
I did not mind it all that much.
My bones crackled but did not ache,
And the wrinkle was,
In its own way,
If only I could be that young again.
For now,
As I roll out of bed,
The bones ache
And threaten to break,
And the reality of immortality sinks in.
Past the age of twenty-seven,
I never did grow old.
My mind and spirit stayed the same.
My dreams remained intact.
I had learned all I had to learn
About love,
About death.
And though I continue to learn little things
Each and every day,
By age twenty-seven,
I had learned all there was to learn
About life.
My mind has not aged since then.
I still wish to fly,
And to make people dance,
And to be the one to dance.
I want to climb a mountain,
Marry the spirit of the wilderness
With the young spirit of my soul.
Nothing has changed.
I feel as young as I ever did,
Only now,
I feel my body slowly giving up on me.
My heart still ready to soar,
But my body ready
For an eternal rest.
We're all just ticking time bombs disguised as dreamers.
Oct 2016 · 382
Angela Moreno Oct 2016
I just love him so much.
Is there even a poem to write??
Are there even words to say??
When I am with him,
I can't stop smiling.
And when we are apart,
I feel like crying.
I'm so happy.
For the first time ever,
I am so happy.
I know none of you needed to know that,
But I couldn't keep it in
Any longer.
I love him so much.
That it breaks my heart.
Oct 2016 · 173
Angela Moreno Oct 2016
My bed feels so empty without you in it.
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