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Jun 2015
As I sink faster and faster into the depths of my own design,
when I have lost all hope I see a light which rips me from the confines of my despair.
And for a moment I am happy.
From my sudden bliss comes caution for even the sun is temporary.
One moment  it destroys the darkest of my demons, and the next it fades and gives way to the thoughts that cloud my mind.
I am again consumed by the fear that there is no escape from myself.
Only a light from within can vanquish the demons that haunt me but it constantly escapes my grasp; Intangible and because of it I am lost.
I walk aimlessly through the recesses of my mind, drowning in the whispers of worthlessness and shame.
I physically carry the emotional burden of my insecurity as a chain who's weight is a perpetual reminder of my enslavement.
The restriction of the shackles indicative of the suspended state of my grief and my inability to break free.
I eventually become weak and grow angry.
An ever growing bitterness begins to taint the essence of my soul.
The darkness turns into pain; instead of black my life is dominated by red, the color of hatred. I lash out in an attempt to hurt those around me. When I succeed I feel no satisfaction, only despair and once again my vision fades to a dull and lifeless grey that envelopes my entire being.
A constant cycle of red, grey and black with moments of clarity few and far between.
It is the constant cycle of my life from which I do not know how to escape.
I fear that all hope will be stamped out and I will be consumed by the darkness that haunts me;
No longer responsive to the light that would brighten my day.
I fear I will be lost and pray for my salvation.
Olivia Tobin
Written by
Olivia Tobin  CA
(CA)   
399
   Eiliv Advena and NV
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