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Jun 2015
Excuse me while I cry myself to sleep at night.
Having dreams of happiness this I will never find.
Worlds come to life under a blanket of night.
A tragic reality I will never reach.
Excuse me while I apologize for living,
Because I don't feel as if I have a right
To breathe the same air as you.
Slow shaky breaths are all I get.
Excuse me while I turn everything I touch
To ruins.
Gifted with the wrong Midas touch.
Excuse me while I write these words
Knowing that I will be the only one to read them.
Beating my head against a wall for all the ways I
Said I was okay, when I wasn't.
Excuse me while I silently **** myself
Because I'm scared of going back to the
Hospital and speaking up. Not
Because of what people would say but,
Because I can't bear to see that
Look in your eyes again.
The look of wasted money.
Excuse me while I waste my life writing
Poems that will change nothing.
Powerful words that impact you
Only as far as to shake your head and say,
"That's true, something should be done."
Excuse me while I listen to your advice that should fix
Me but only shreds me open more.
Excuse me while I do nothing and everything
Wrong.
Excuse me while I **** you off
With my general existence because you
Can't see what's wrong with me.
Excuse me while I do the best that I can.
Excuse me while I let your words rule my life
And rip my self esteem to pieces.
Excuse me while I shatter my dreams
Of wearing a sleeveless dress with a razor.
Excuse me while I implode on my thoughts,
Shoving them down because of the simple
Fact that I don't want to bother you.
Excuse me?
No. *****.
Excuse yourself.
Olivia Struthers
Written by
Olivia Struthers  Mapleton
(Mapleton)   
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