I bet you're not going to read this

I don't think you'll understand
The pain that you put me through

I hate how you underestimate me
That you think all I do at home is use my phone
And play games on my laptop
I actually study too, just so you know.

I remember all the days you made me cry
I felt like my insides are going to explode

I hate how you would never compliment me on anything
Not how I look, not how I do in school or anything

I remember you telling me I was useless
That I would never amount to anything

You never really realized I was depressed and heartbroken.

You never read any of my poems.
Because if you did, you would feel sad for me.
You'd realize I don't fit in to the perfect daughter cookie cutter.
I wish you could stop trying to cut me into that.
And just realize that I'm different.
I'm not the honor student,
I'm not the best in time management,
I can't get my life together.

Sometimes, I just wish I could turn back time
And make sure you and mom never met
So I don't have to be born
So I don't have to suffer
And so you don't have to handle a misfit teen.

I'm sorry.
I know I don't say this often.
It's not that I don't feel it,
it's just that I don't know how to put it

I'm sorry for being born
For having me as a burden
For spending 16 years raising a
heartbroken, depressed, abnormal teen.

I guess you're right.
That I will not amount to anything.
Look at me now.
I'm in my room, writing poetry.

But after all the torture,
I know you did it out of love.
I know you said it out of love.
I know you were thinking what's best for me.
I know you said things so you can push me harder.

I love you, dad.
No matter what happens,
No matter what you do or I do.
You raised me to be a teen that knows how to express herself.

But if you ever find this,
I just want you to know
I love you.
I love you so much.
I still love you after everything.
I will love you even after everything.