my mind wandered far from where it should've been
health exam
diagram of the heart.
I hear the beating of my own heart
I feel it sulk down into my chest.

I look to my right and see a boy who sits with a look of arrogance on his face
the very boy I've silently loved for months now
I'm sure he knows, I'd be surprised if he didnt

ever since september I've been hot on his tail whenever I got the chance
pure desperation
He's your typical teenage heartbreaker
Varsity well, everything  since freshman year
his blue eyes painted a mystery begging to be solved
he has not a care in the world for anyone besides himself

so here i am bashing the boy I myself boost onto a pedestal
it seems so strange
strange that i'd be so compelled to practically worship the ground he walks on
Stranger, is how I'm able to write all of this with him a mere 24 inches away
he could glance to his left and read all of this crystal clear

It's funny how much I claim to hate him, all while being so attracted to him
I guess that's the difference between love and attraction
I love his physical being, even the idea of him
until it comes to who he his beneath his skin
Cocky. Self centered. Rude. Unaware of his surroundings. Impulsive.