Behind closed doors I see the world
Others look, but cannot see...

To look into the pain of a beating heart
To see the cape of black surrounding love
Why must I hide?
Why must I live in fear?
I want to feel brave,

But it’s not possible.

I’ve been locked away, behind closed doors.
Alone in the dark,
Thoughts rush through my head.

I want to express my feelings,
I want to be myself
But life has cursed me.

Am I a slave of love?
I’m forced to watch its powers
But never feel for myself.

My heart is locked away with the rest of me.
It still has the urges
To reach out...
       to love.

But if I reach out, I will be attacked.
If I reach out, I will be hurt.
If I reach out, the world will see me bare.
If the world sees me, I’m doomed.

I’m forced to watch love, and never experience it.
Is this what the world is supposed to be?
Am I supposed to be locked behind closed doors?
Am I meant to just be a prop in this silly game of God?
Why aren’t there answers?
Why can’t I be cured?
Why can’t the world see ME?

Alas, this is what I wonder
As the darkness draws me back in,
As my heart is draped with a black curtain,
I must stay here.

Locked behind closed doors.
Locked from the world.
Locked from me.

Maybe one day I can eventually leave this darkness...

But sadly once I leave this barren space,
I believe there is only more darkness to come
The darkness to come won’t be caused by me however,
Others will cause it.

So I guess the question to answer is, “which darkness is lighter?”

My darkness?

Or the world’s?