You push me away
then pull me close
and you reject me
and tell me you miss me
and act liek nothing is wrong
and share random stuff one moment
not talk to me for days next
and somehow
in this push-pull friendship of ours
everytime you come back
after hurting me for days,
weeks, sometimes months on end
everytime you talk sweet to me
after harsh words
everytime you pretend
like everything is cool
and nothing happened
and you didn't hurt me
brushing it off as bad mood,
bad day,
bad timing.
everytime you bounce back
i get annoyed with the fact
that i don't even pretend to be okay.
that it really is okay
all that matters at the moment is we are friends again
and you are talking to me again
and i can't not care
and i can't shut you off
the way you shut me off.
i guess this is what it means
to love the unlovable.

But i really care
and i really love you.