tonight I can write,
of a disorder so monstrous,
I intermittently cannot tell,
if I want to laugh, cry, or die.
this wretched disorder is like,
being stabbed by your favorite person,
and laughing instead of crying.
everyday is a struggle to seem normal.
it's just so sorrowfull,
when your emotions are being juggled,
at the circus in your head.
my mind is like a battlefield in WW1.
but unlike the casualties,
the perpetually changing emotions live on.
tonight,  even as I write,
my feelings will not stop bouncing around,
like children when they,
consume too much sugar.
the way I feel towards everything,
never stops changing.
everyday, every hours every minute,
my emotions never rest.
the brain within my skull,
commands me one moment to be euphoric,
and within 30 seconds,
says to be rancorous.
but tonight while I've written this,
these forever changing emotions,
did not win.
despite the war in my head,
I have kept the same mood.
this disorder will not end me.