Once upon a time, you called me beautiful
You called me your everything
called me the one.
but now, after all we've been through, what do you call me?
Idiot? *****? ****?

Go on, say it then.
Tell me what's on your mind for I can't see it.
you won't let me see it anymore.
and yet you blame me, but my dear I was handing you back your heart and you slapped it from my hand
Then you say I never loved you
but your wrong.
I did love you, once

I loved you when you were my protector
when all I needed was to speak your name because I was a frail child who didn't know how to run away or disappear completely
  I love you when you were kind
when you stood behind me with your hands on my waist laughing with your friends.

I didn't love you when you yelled at me over frivolous subjects.
I didn't love you when you were so paranoid I would leave you that I couldn't let my phone for for fear of you being angry.

now that we're said and done I can see how you affected me
because I don't journal like normal girls
I journal within my poetry.
and without you by my side I can see what kind of poet I truly am

Im a heartbreak poet.
im a crisis poet
Buut most of all
I'm a happenstance poet.

I take what I see and barely twist it for my creations.
and after all we've been through

After nine years of being there for me and not receiving credit
see why you were my protector.
because if you weren't there to teach me these things
never would have become the poet I am.