as I sit here in a non sterotypical room
I think of why are these people here
they appear normal to me
which means the opposite as well
maybe they’ll avoid their eyes meeting my arm
my arms the one twitching today
with random sensations in my legs
I don’t feel well taking the two pills
their jobs are to put me on hill
& yet here I am still below ground
this whole mess looks like
a two year old drew a circle
there’s no balance here
just no death or fear of death
even if there was
it is gone in one deep breath