If being beautiful was a crime
They would have locked you up long ago
Where you'd be doing hard time
Down on good looking row

The judge would take a gander at you
Ask you just what time it is
You'd look at your watch say 9 to 10
He'd say that's exactly what you get

They'd put you on a chain gang
But have to chain you to yourself
Cause when it comes to good looks
It is you and no one else

While others would be out breaking rocks
You'd be putting makeup on
As they're all sweating rivers
A cool breeze on you would blow

You would have free run of the place
Because of your good looks
With that big white smile on your face
They couldn't stand to lock you up

After awhile it'd be just you
As all the prisoners slipped out of there
Not a one of them had noticed
As all the guards just stand and stare

Yes if being beautiful was a crime
They would have locked you up long ago
Where you'd be doing hard time
Down on good looking row