You deserved a long goodbye,
a long and tight hug to force out tears
and maybe un-stifle our hearts.

The words, I love you,
had me in a choke hold.

Two friends,
who hurt
each other
like lovers.

I tried to be an automaton; stolid faced,
but I lost my grace.

I wish now that
I had remembered
to come up for air.
Or remembered,
that it was through open hearts
that we entered each other's lives
so long ago.

Maybe I did not love you at all,
because I didn't try to hold on to you.

Maybe I loved you too much,
& maybe that is why I let you go.

Now I just want to know:
How do you open at the close?