I thought you were dead
or close to it.
And I cried for days
Did you hear?

I tried to be silent for you.
Be strong for you.
Have healing hands for you.

You tried to be strong, too.

You tried to smile
And laugh
And cuddle
Like an old basset.

Your eyes gave you
Away.

They still do sometimes
Fill with flecks of crystal
And become the ocean.

A warm ocean
that basks in the heat
but knows it’s
a warning
Of what’s to come

And feels guilty for knowing the sun.