when you left i was swallowed by silence. i think my heart could be heard beating against my rib cage in the next town. i was tired. i was tired of not having a home. i was tired of comparing the girls i met at parties to you. their lips didn't taste the same. they smelled like fruit and their hands were sticky. i miss your hands. they make me feel safe. i have not felt safe since the day i was born but when i'm with you, i do. i want you to know that the ghost of you follows me wherever i go and it told me that it's never leaving. i asked it how to go home and it opened it arms wide and i realized what home is. you are home. i've been knocking for months, my knuckles are starting to bleed, please let me in.