Trying to find yourself isn't always the easiest way.
Trying to be someone you're not can work out for a while.
Trying to impress others just not to be alone is an option, but not the best.
Trying to avoid your problems will not make them disappear.
Trying to force someone to love you will not change their feelings, but instead you might be pushed away.
Trying  to hurt yourself will not solve anything and definitly will not take away the pain.
Trying too much actually can make everthing worse.

Instead trying to relax and trying to find yourself should be the solution.