Everything about me is small
Except my thighs, my stomach and my *******
And I’m one hundred percent okay with that
My thighs, the perfect seat for a friend or a child
So come take a seat and talk for a while
My stomach keeps my hands warm when the rest of my is cold
My best friends know that to be a fact, so now they do the same thing
My *******?
I wish they were smaller
It’s not that I don’t like them, I do
It’s just that having ******* and asthma, kinda makes it hard to breath
They pull on my back, sit like weights when I lay down
I think they’re slowly chocking me, but ya know, that’s what it’s like to breath
But that’s not even the worst part
The worst part is when I’m only fourteen and I’m walking home from the library
I’m wearing jeans, a shirt, and a sweater
At that age my ******* where as big as they are now
And at that age, someone cat called me from their car window driving by
I didn’t see why they would do that at all
I thought that I was a small, young girl who had nothing of value
But when I got home, I noticed how much my chest stood out, even in a large sweater
That day scared me, it cut me for life
I’m too scared to walk down the street, to go out in public, wear shorts, shirts, or anything that doesn’t make my chest look smaller
A year later I was walking home, and it happened again
At that moment I could feel my heart in my throat, puke right behind it
If I could, I'd’ve hidden in a hole right then and there
I got home and for the next hour I was shaking in fear
Fear that I might get mugged, *****, sold, thought a ******* and then *****
I didn’t want any of that
I hear people make comments in the summer when I walk by
“I’d want her to take my picture”
“Look at the sweet thing”
“Woo we girl you go!”
Most were people about five feet away from me
I can’t wear shorts anymore, or short shirts, or low cut tanks, or nice bras
Because all of those things, makes you hungry
And I do not want to be the last supper
I want to live in a world where women don’t have to live in fear
Where we admire each other’s keys because of the new weapon it holds
Where if you have anything above an A cup, get ready to hear men scream out a car window at you
His words trailing you home in an endless stream of fear
I don’t want to live in fear for being a woman
I want to be proud of every single part of me
But I can’t do that when all I am is afraid
Everything about me is small
My heart, my sense of safety, my lack of fear, my tears
And I wish they where all bigger
As big as my wonderful thighs
As big as my warm stomach on a cold winter night
As big as my ******* that want to sit proudly on my chest