The night settles around me as I make my way down the winding path that leads away from the old iron gates. I let my mind wander as my body carries me forward to the spot I’ve been so many times before. There’s a heavy weight on my shoulders and I bite my lip against the pain that threatens to tear me apart. How many nights have I spent here since you left?

The wind gently ruffles my hair and a faint smile crosses my lips. I breath in the cool air and feel it soothe my thoughts. This isn’t why I’ve come here tonight.

My legs come to a stop and I take in my surroundings. The moon bathes the area in a pale light and the willow trees sway gently in the breeze. There’s a sense of calm that envelops me whenever I come here and I feel it now, wrapping me in a sphere of tranquility. I sink to the ground and lean against the stone the way I have for years now.

The flowers that I left last week are starting to wither, the edges of the once brilliant red petals curling in on themselves. I let my fingers brush against them and rest my cheek against the chilled marble. I remember the first time I came here. My mind was spiraling into insanity. I’d gone running down the path in the darkness, feeling as if I were fighting to stay alive. The tears that blurred my vision had my make up streaking my face like war paint. I’d collapsed in the spot I am now, throwing myself into the dirt and letting the sobs rack my body. I stayed there like that, reveling in the pain and anguish I felt until dawn brought the light and unwanted help. I felt so betrayed when you left.

I squeeze my eyes shut, pushing the painful memory from my thoughts and shake myself. I clear my throat nervously and stare down at my hands.

“Hey baby, it’s me again.” I say quietly into the silence.

“I’ve been keeping myself busy like you wanted, I even got a job.” I giggle and glance up.

“It’s not much of a job, but it’s something. And I…” I take a deep breath and steel myself against the wave of emotion that washes over me.

“I met someone.” There. I said it.

“He’s a really nice guy, baby. He asked if I wanted to go out sometime and I told him I’d think about it. I was going to tell him no, but then I realized something.” I blink away the tears that I can’t hold back any longer and struggle to keep my voice even.

“I realized I want to be remembered by more than just a tombstone.” I choke on my words and dig my nails into the pad of my hand. I try to get a hold over myself and smile weakly. You always hated it when I cried.

“I’ll always love you baby, but I have to move on. And I know you’ve been telling me that for months now… I just wasn’t listening. I miss you so much…” I wipe my tears from my face and swallow the sob that tried to escape my throat.

I climb to my feet and rest a hand on top of the stone that stands in your memory. I know I can’t hold myself here forever… You wouldn’t want me to anyway. I lift my hand to my lips then press a kiss to your grave.

“I love you. Forever and always.” I whisper and turn away. As I begin the walk back through the cemetery I take in all the markers of those who’ve come and gone. How many of them were taken away too soon? Or left on their own?

I reach the gates and cast one look back to where you lay and I see the light shining on your flowers. Only instead of withered and dying, they’re as fresh as they day I left them. I bite my lip and smile, looking down and laughing. I blow one final kiss and walk away with the memories that will last forever and always.