i constantly think about your well-being
where you are, with whom you are sharing your time
not your romantic companions
but just your companionship

its ******* that i care
you never cared about my feelings
your actions have shouted that in decibels
but i can't shake my desire to care for you

i hate myself for this
because there is nothing i can do
or that i should do
my heart aches again, this time for futility
stupidity
and the inability to love myself more than you