I'm broken today. Alone!
The closest person to me laughs with another.
She is in love you see.
Her voice changes to another tone.
Her excitement reaches another level.
Oh she laughs in love. In love with the one whom she is in love with.
I sit drowning in water, thinking...
What about me?
When will my laughter be over one whom I love?
When will my excitement levels rise coz I'm with someone whom excites me?
As my lifeless body is the only thing that fills the volume of water.
So is my companionship.
Life is the water and I am my body.
I take full mass and volume of my life.
It is only me, there is no other! Me and the water!
If I lie still, so does the water become stagnant.
Have i reached that stage that I am so alone, so still that life has become still as well.
No longer the ripples of flowing water.
Just stagnant still water.
I play my music to drown out the love filled chatter. To disappear the laughter.
Now I'm no longer the only volume filling this stillness.
Casting Crown plays telling me to Thrive.
They are singing to me, to fill my soul with one desire.
That I need to "Just to know you and make you know me. "
I turn the volume higher.
And so I sing aloud! Isn't that what you do when you go bath?
Sing at the top of your voice and not bother what others think!
If only Lord you were my full capacity. My volume. My mass!
That it was enough to know you and you know me!