Sometimes
I get really angry
and I think to myself
about how much you never told me
and I hate that it's always on my mind

I hate that when I see her
I only hate her
and I don't hate you too

I should
but I just can't
because when I'm around her
I am weak
and when I am around you
I am weak
and when you worked together
to bring me down
I had never been lower
and I had never before understood
why she would always call me
late at night
and cry
but right then
I wished I had someone
that I could call to talk me out
of the deep emotions i was feeling
someone
that I could call
late at night
and cry to

But I was helpless
and I was my own hero

But I had lost those people
to each other

And there is no deeper betrayal
than two-timing
and yet
I act every day like I don't care

And yet
everyone says I shouldn't care

But I think it would be worse
if I didn't care at all
because then wouldn't that mean
that I don't care about all of the other emotions
you make me feel?

The memories might not all break our fall
some of them may have broken us
but I would rather
have those bruises and scratches on my body
than be naive and dive right in

Apprehensive may not be ideal
but it is helpful

It takes so much in me to not doubt you
and believe that I'm the only one
and you may get annoyed by that
but when that's all I'm used to

being used
being disrespected
being lied to

what exactly do you expect?