ever since my childhood broke and the safety net disintegrated I've been running and holding it high above, arms aching in a futile attempt to stop things falling through woven seams. Sometimes it works and I stare up, neck burning, to the things I cannot touch.
I do not look down to the debris scattered around me, to the failures of my braced shoulders, slipping through like water; impacting like stones.
once I caught a fisherman; he threaded silver secrets through twine using smiles and sympathy and I lowered my arms, to keep him alongside. There were some places he couldn't reach but that was ok, because we ran for an eternity ensnared in each second.
it was a particularly beautiful day when I noticed him slowing, staring out to sea, steps faltering and new smiles forming that were not faced to me. He left me and dived headfirst, forgetting that fisherman cannot swim. He drowned as I ran on, arms outstretched above me as the net danced in the wind and everything fell through.
I have never stopped, never ceased these thundering steps; my eyes are still turned to the sky, the holes in my net cast beautiful shadows and through them I see the stars and wait impatient for the night when they too fall.