The wave of your love washes over me, drenching me in hopes and dreams and yet somehow I still manage to choke on the seashell of panic, worried that I will be swallowed entirely the moment the water trickles down my forearm. You’ve given me the heimlich so many times that I start retching before You even reach me. The sting of the bile of my past in the back of my throat Begs to be brought up again. I try so hard to shove it back into the deep dark hole it came from, but eventually it bursts past my lips And sprays all over you. I attempt to clean you up but I can see the remnants of my pain all over your soul And yet you still smile. You're gleaming teeth look as if they were made of pearls and your eyes look magnificently blue, overflowing with the ocean of love you still have for me. You strip me of the wetsuit that shields me from your ocean and I melt into you. Blending lava and water in a steamy swirl. Fiery hot and chillingly cold. Etching our love for each other in every bend and curve. Leaving burns and ice ****** all over our souls. The hole in my heart that your ocean filled frozen into place. Permanent. Your ocean carves out a place for itself in the mountain of my worry and turns my mountain into a canyon replacing worry and panic with love and trust. The seashell of panic crushed in your wake. Now as the wave of your love washes over me I no longer cling to the sand begging for shelter I dive into your ocean naked and laughing hoping to drown in the sea of your peace.
This is a poem about the struggles a person with depression, PTSD, and anxiety has with being in a relationship.