Dear vanity,
I don't mean to sound offensive,
But I really don't have time for you.
I struggle to make time for all the whims and worries you wear down upon my weary body,
The lies you tell, the lies you sing,
Oh this will only take a second,
Oh you have a curl out of place.
I have other things I am enslaved to that I must serve besides you.
Oh vanity, why do you continually haunt me?
You twist me up in your lies, twisting and wrapping and binding and tying me up in your lies so tight I can hardly move.
You say it'll make me have friends,
But we've already been down that bend.
For you oh vanity
Do I squirm and writhe as someone plucks out my hairs one by one like a mediaeval torture device.
For you oh vanity
Do I crinkle my nose as I pinch a blemish on my skin.
For you oh vanity do I trim my hair the way you like it so I can be in style
For you oh vanity do I wear a smile
So dear vanity,
I don't mean to be offensive
But I really don't have time for you.