From the time we were able to ride with our mother in the car, we wanted to spirit ourselves away. My sisters memorized the road names, the mechanics, to plot their escape—but I never learned to drive from watching. I didn’t pay attention to the roads, I can't read maps, and cardinal directions mean nothing to me. While they looked at the roads, I scanned the horizon, the sky, the trees, the beauty blurring by and wanted to fade into it. I wanted to be something beautiful, rooted, and constant--not to spend my life escaping pain, but to never have been forced to feel it.