Is it wrong that I hold onto the sadness.
I mean it's the one thing that makes me feel sane.
Is it wrong that I hold onto the pain.
When it's the only thing I'm used to at this point.
Is it wrong that I hold onto the feeling of being sad.
When it's the only thing that my body feels.
I hate feeling like this.
I hate feeling numb.
So I hold onto this pain so I can still feel something.
So I can know I'm still alive and I'm not just floating through my dead unconscious mind.
The pain reminds me that I'm not a zombie.
Hopefully one day I can let go of the pain and not rely on it to make me feel something
But I can finally feel something other than that pain.