Dear Lover,

I still wake up at glorious hours to meet what we once had through nature. Remember the sunsets we watched together? I still gaze at them with the same intensity I had when I looked at you. I wake up early in the brisk cold morning seeing darkness but finally watching the light brighten through my blue curtains making a sea of colour wash over my room. The shade you love.

How are you? It's been a while. I'm a little lonely since most of my friends have moved away. On the bright side, I’m moving on better. I've met a couple of guys and the crying has stopped a whole lot. I get out more than I used to. I visit the places we went together from time to time. You know how I used to write in that red book that you gave me on our first anniversary? I still have it and take it with me everywhere. I use it so much that the edges are getting softer and you can see a couple of coffee stains (sorry). I go out to the park daily and write whatever comes to mind in there.

Sadly, all I write is about you.

The first time you saw me, I was waiting for my mother to pick me up. I remember so well seeing your body rise from the sunroof with your friends. Do you remember when your eyes locked with mine? That look you gave me that I had witnessed a million times? I remember, and I miss that a lot. When you took me on car rides just to watch the sun rise and set? I miss that. You waking me up each morning with a phenomenal kiss and arms for me to fall into? I miss that so much. How about all those times a grey cloud hung over me, but you were there to cheer me up? I need that now.

How can I help it? You were the one that looked at me as if I meant the world to you. I craved your presence because you made me happy. I needed your smile just to make my bad day better. You were there for me when no one else was. I apologize if I’m not your one. You might not need me but I need you. You don't deserve me, but you have changed me so much. I guess...I guess I’m not quite over you. I’m sorry for fighting, I’m sorry for being stupid. But know, I did it out of care. I....I am so sorry.

So, I ask you for one more chance for me to show you I love you. How is it that I only feel butterflies and nausea around you but you don't anymore when you're around me? This love simply can't be one sided. I saw the way you looked at me, and the way you acted, and everything. The sparks and fireworks were booming on my side. When I met you, I saw fire behind those beautiful eyes. I saw determination. I saw a strong connection, and felt it through my every vein. Have you moved on from that? Please say you haven't. I need this so bad, please understand that. I need you so bad. You mean the world to me, don't you get it?

If you loved me then, can't...can't you love me now?


Sincerely,

The Girl Who Still Loves You.