So you've been doing well and you're engaged,
so nice. "Happy for you" doesn't begin to explain
the feeling I've been taking to bed every night.
When I get sad over life and
look at pictures of slit wrists,
I let the memories flood in.
Shuffling to our room in midday
dead set on apologies.
Finding you stretched out and half dead.
Finding you stretched out and half dead,
you said,
"You did this to me."

I bet I'd be better off if I'd left with my cigarettes
But as it stands I can wish you well,
and for your husband the same hell,
to reach the soul you never had.
I hope he's happy in laughter like me,
when I meet you in dreams.
I am not humble in memory.