there was a time, about four months ago, when i tried to take my life. i havent told you about it because im terrified of what you might think of me. and that is the last thing i can handle right now, your feelings changing. but i know that if you knew, that you could save me. though what i have realized is that i dont need saving. i can be my own ******* savior, i can fix me all by myself. because i have grown so strong in those four months. i have felt loss, the loss of the two people i loved too much. i have felt as my family was slowly ripped apart, and there was nothing i could do. i have felt the heartbreak of the person i trusted more than anyone on this planet earth. i have felt the pain of watching my beautiful cousin sent to prison for the color of his skin.
  but through that, i have felt love. your love. the most consuming and powerful love that i have felt in a while. because while i suffered through the storms of depression and heartbreak, you brought me back. you held my hand, and for what felt like the first time, you did not let go. you gave me a chance. and despite the claustrophobia of being held a prisoner to my past, i trusted you. and i never trust easily. ive been hurt. ive trusted and ive been betrayed. but ive grown, and ive learned to not make the same mistakes that i have made. ive learned to trust people who can make me smile, the people who trust me. and ive learned to love the people that see past the scars on my wrist, the people who love me for who i am.
  and i will never go back to who i was before. because if i have learned anything these past four months, ive learned that time is limited. and what is life if it is not to make mistakes, to learn, to get hurt, to watch every sunset, to get your heartbroken, to love, to write about why his smile is your favorite, to scream and cry. to make mistakes over and over, because you will get through it. you will be stronger because of everything that you endure. you will survive. and sometimes life seems pointless, but you will find your purpose, even if it takes a heartbreak or a loss to find it. you belong here on this earth. and even when you dont know it, you are stronger than this.