I never thought this would be me

This is now the sickening reality I live in, just trying to starve off the next cut. Sweat, wake, heartache. I can't believe, I can't believe this happening. I didn't know I could feel so weak, I never thought I would be so in need. Is this how it's supposed to be? I never thought this would be me.

Somber thoughts as I close my eyes, clenching my teeth as I think of a lie. Dragging the blade down my arm, they always say it's darkest before the dawn

When I'm alone I'm my own worst enemy, a cut to the arm is the only thing that makes sense to me. I can't let you see me like this, so enveloped in sadness. I can't stand on my own two feet when the weight of the world is on me.

When I'm alone I'm my worst enemy, if only you could see what really inside of me, you would see that I'm not ok, that everything's not alright.

If people saw each other for who they really are, would you just see me with scars?

I'm not ok and it's not alright, please give me the strength to make it through this night. Just to live another day dear god I'm on my knees, I know this isn't how it's supposed to be. What the **** with wrong with me?

When I fell you weren't there, the only thing to catch me was the noose. You took the knife and hollowed me out. Please just cut me loose

This is now the sickening reality I live in, just trying to starve off the next cut. Sweat, wake, heartache. I can't believe, I can't believe this happening. I didn't know I could feel so  weak, I never thought I would be so in need. Is this how it's supposed to be? I never thought this would be me.