My boyfriend won’t cut his horrible hair It’s quite a horrible mess And it gives me quite a horrible scare This I just must horribly confess
It takes hours to wash his hair And hours more to get it dry He resembles a tamed grizzly bear And he doesn’t get just why
The tangles and knots cover his face It’s practically impossible to see There’s a boy hidden behind the space Between the wild hair and shrubbery
I got him a comb to manage the terror Before the stress gave me a stroke But when he brushed it, I realized my error When the comb I gave him, finally broke
I tried to introduce him to family And it was a horribly embarrassing task The scarcely groomed anomaly Was what everybody talked about and asked
We went to the park and as we talked A crow swooped down low It sat in his hair and as we walked It laid several eggs on the go
I finally had enough of his hair And got a brand new lawn mower How he’d react I did not care His bushy hair days were finally over
When the monster mower growled How my frightened boyfriend ran As his hair fell off he howled But out emerged a gentleman
He can finally see his face in the mirror But there are hills of hair in the yard I've learned skills of a master sheep shearer But left my poor boyfriend heartbroken and scarred