I remembered all the bottles that filled his lungs and
the final one which emptied them
that then beside the frenzied trumpet and passive hammer
of mechanically rendered breath,
a time of ill regret and cancelled bets
yet still he found the strength to ******* in the bathroom stall
and beat you indigo once he was through
and discharged
out of the green peopled doors
the satisfied ink of presumed secrecy made him bold
even as the sediment besieged his tissued demise
and I despised
even as I craved my own relief between your purple thighs
while we shared a thousand smokes between lips
that spared no wetted patient medicine
yet never locked in battle
and then he died
and you cried and
you cried and
you cried and
I knew you had lied to me