The first time we talked
your eyes
were always on mine
but my eyes
darted from the floor
to the corner of the room
because
looking at you
was (is) like looking
at the sun.

the second time we talked
I stood waiting for the lift
You called out "hey" from behind
i almost fainted
we entered the lift
and i realised
for the first time
your smile
was like a thousand suns
and your voice has
a slight accent
i still can't place.

the third time we talked
I was braiding my hair
you walked past
and i squeaked in surprise.
****
you turned to me
dressed in a flannel shirt
looking perfect as usual
and smiled "hey"
i could only hide my embarrassment
with a small laugh.

the fourth time we talked*
you were alone in your classroom
i walked past
you opened the door, "hey"
my hands fly to my hair
self consciously trying to tame
the lion mane that seemed fine
a moment ago.
i give a small wave
and we talked longer
than we normally would.

you were so near to me
i almost hugged you
i'm sorry
i remember staring at the floor
and the ceiling
and the walls
avoiding your intense gaze
as if what i was talking about was the most interesting thing in the world*
you were patient
you were nice
you smiled at me.

you are constantly on my mind.
am i on yours?
I don't know what these feelings are.
i hope i'm not in love with you.
because i think
you're in love with
someone else..