the devil has never been a red bodied monster with bull horns and the tail of a scorpion. the devil is a brown eyed boy who introduces himself to your father with a firm shake and a promise to keep you safe. he'll spill his guts onto your kitchen floor promising he's never told anyone else what he's shared with you. a few months in you'll meet his mother and she'll tell you how happy she is that he has found someone to keep him honest. you'll believe her when she says he's never talked about someone the way he has talked about you. you'll tell her you care about him and she'll say she knows. in the summer he'll tell you he loves you and he can't imagine his life without you. he'll joke about where you'll both be when you're 45, living in the suburbs with steady jobs and a couple of kids. you'll hope he means with him. he'll talk about the future like its so obvious he'll be a part of yours, like you have no reason to doubt him. fall will come around again and the leaves will change. he'll stop calling as often. the rain will relentlessly fall onto the streets. he'll stop coming by your house. the temperature will drop and rain will turn to snow and soon enough you'll have burned every poem you've ever written for him. you'll remember the night you almost sent him your suicide note but instead of being scared you felt bad for betraying him. february will come around and you'll try to remember the sound of his voice when he first wakes up but you can never imagine it just right. your parents will forget his name and his mom will stop telling you how she misses having you around the house and how his dog has been wondering where you've been. she'll tell you he hasn't been the same lately but you don't try to believe her. the seasons will change and months will pass and he'll forget your name and break every ******* promise he swore he could keep and ******* will it hurt.