I can't talk about you without my voice catching in the back of my throat
Almost like your hand is reaching up through me, pulling my voice back to you
I've found it's not any easier to stay silent,
The memories are too strong and being alone doesn't make sense anymore
But then come the bad times and the loud fights
And I'm thanking god I'm alone
Thank god I'm only responsible for myself now, for my own happiness
Thank god my decisions only go as far as me, and not as far as you
Because being your world imploded mine
I lost myself and hated myself and became someone I said I wouldn't be
Since we've been apart, I've started smoking again
But I've also started doing yoga and drinking tea
I'm learning the ins and outs of me again
And losing myself in the beds of other men
Somehow, it's there I find myself
In between the "**** me harder" and the "oh my God baby"
Who I am has never been clearer.
I am strong. I am powerful.
And I am my own **** person.
Who I am now, is better than I ever was.