How can someone love me when I don't even love myself?
  I miss the ocean, it was the closest thing to love I've ever felt. It was winter and the water was numbing, to the point where you couldn't decipher your toes from your fingers. Im not religious but when i floated there with my arms spread, my face up and my eyes wide open to the blaring sun, i swear i felt god smiling at me.
  Every time i go in the ocean, i feel reborn and alive. I'm not religious but every time i go under and then surface, i feel like I'm getting baptized all over again. If the warmth you feel when your laying out in the sun is gods blessing, than i think I've found him.
  I can't throw myself selflessly into faith
How can i trust someone that might not even be there when i can't even trust myself?
  I miss the mountains, it was the closest thing to love I've ever felt. It was summer and my independence skyrocketed. Im not religious but when i stood alone, outside my tent on the grassy plain, staring at the sherbet sunrise, i swear i found my heaven. If the purity of the rain falling on that mountain is god showing me the million chances i have to start anew, than i think I've found him.
  I can't throw myself selflessly into faith
  How can i believe in someone I've never seen when i can't even believe in myself?
  How can i devote myself to someone when i still need to devote myself to me?
  How can i open my heart when I'm afraid to let any ounce of hope in?
  How can i live life to the fullest when I'm already filled to the brim with despair?
  How can i hand myself over to you when i know you can't answer the questions I'm dying to find the solutions to.