oh god
i just can’t think about it anymore.
i hate the way everything tastes
the moment you walk out of my door.
nothing ever feels quite so
satisfying
quite as dreamy
as you waking up besides me
and staying.
without fear of what the morning
sun may do to you.
my love,
even if you turn to stone,
i’ll learn every prayer
to bring you back from the dead
and even if i can’t
i will love you as a ghost.
oh god
can’t you see what this doing to me?
i am no longer the person
i told myself i would be
what a crazy sort of jealousy
to envy what will never be.

you have me.