You reminded me of the pain I cause
You reminded me that you loved me
That you will always love me
You're leaving me
You're leaving me because I raise my voice to get my point across
That hurts you
I hate hurting you
Hurting you pains me
I raise my voice because I think if I get louder you'll be able to understand me better
I raise my voice because I was silent for too long
I raise my voice because I never let anyone hear me
I had this problem where people would talk
And I would listen
People would fight
And I would listen
People would belittle me
And I would
Listen...
I would just constantly listen to how
Useless I was
How amazing I was
How smart I was
How I never was...
Enough
How I constantly needed reassured that I was loved
Or right
Or wrong
I was always wrong
My thoughts were wrong
My actions were wrong
I had no mind
I walked on eggshells so often that my feet became numb
I was no longer walking on this earth
I was sitting...
But not for too long because then I was useless again
I was constantly working to be better
To love more
To make everything that was unhealthy for me...
Work
I worked so hard to mend something so frail
Together
I raise my voice because I feel like you're hearing me
But you're not listening
I cry because I'm breaking down that rope that was so strong between us
It could hold the whole universe
I'm sorry we argue
I'm sorry this is work
Relationships are work
I'm willing to be better
I'm wanting to be better
Without being too silent
Without being too loud
Without hurting you
The idea that you find leaving me equally as painful as staying with me
Oh
My heart is shattered
For my intentions were to only love you
That's all I do is fall in love with you
More and more
Every day
Even when I'm frustrated or mad and I raise my voice
To a level
That I don't even feel that I'm yelling
I love you
You are my world
You are my heart