days turned into weeks
weeks turned into months
and, today,
twelve months make up a year
that you've been gone

i will never forget how
on one of the worst days i'd ever faced
you told me to smile
because you thought i was
"so beautiful when i smiled"
and that i should be happy

you seemed to be the happiest of all
and then it all turned upside down;
we were hurled into a frenzied mess
of confusion and shock and questions...
so many questions
that would remain unanswered

there were so many things that
no one was aware of;
things we couldn't comprehend at the time,

and, to this day, i still can't.

t.m.