Jan 2015
When I was little my aunt told me a story about this little girl who was just like me. Heart so pure, smile so bright . In the end she would always call me her little time bomb.
see am a contradicting ticking time bomb , I could make my enter surrounding change with my next move . with that known I did me, not caring about who's around or who will get hurt as long as am happy my timer will never stop.I had no emotion towards anything or anyone for I knew if I stop my time will run out and everything around me will have to bear that pain ,so I made it my responsibility to reduce that pain reduce the amount that surrounds me so when that day comes when I explode and no longer breathe it's OK, for I will be remembered and not only for what I had but for what I gave and the way I did.
My biggest fear is oblivion but am inevitable! I must end and to know there was a time before me and there will be a time after me scares the crap out of me cause people will not exists and no one will be left to remember me .
That day , that cold winter day you passed me and smile barely even noticing me but my timer went 0-100 and I could not ketch my breathe and as you come out of sight it stop . I realized that day you where my time keeper .
Then came spring when we shared our first hello and for the first time my bomb stop ticking and I had feelings , my emotions ring, my heart beat normal for a change at first I loved it , but then I started to break for I started to lose you and even dough I knew, my heart would not let me forgot you, you stored away my timer some where I could not even see .
Am a bomb without a timer am child without a soul, am a tree without leaves , am and ocean without water .
am a child and your my womb am asking to please let me go let me explode and cease to exist , I will no longer be a pain in your *** no longer be that guilt in your heart I will no longer hold you back please just set me off my timer is in your hand , any minute now am ready to go.
I no longer live with the fear of oblivion for the timer who keeps me and the lover who lost me , the boy friend who never knew me, and the friend that saw right through me , will be the ones who will remember me for now I cease to exist
see am a contradicting ticking time bomb , I could make my enter surrounding change with my next move . with that known I did me, not caring about who's around or who will get hurt as long as am happy my timer will never stop.I had no emotion towards anything or anyone for I knew if I stop my time will run out and everything around me will have to bear that pain ,so I made it my responsibility to reduce that pain reduce the amount that surrounds me so when that day comes when I explode and no longer breathe it's OK, for I will be remembered and not only for what I had but for what I gave and the way I did.
My biggest fear is oblivion but am inevitable! I must end and to know there was a time before me and there will be a time after me scares the crap out of me cause people will not exists and no one will be left to remember me .
That day , that cold winter day you passed me and smile barely even noticing me but my timer went 0-100 and I could not ketch my breathe and as you come out of sight it stop . I realized that day you where my time keeper .
Then came spring when we shared our first hello and for the first time my bomb stop ticking and I had feelings , my emotions ring, my heart beat normal for a change at first I loved it , but then I started to break for I started to lose you and even dough I knew, my heart would not let me forgot you, you stored away my timer some where I could not even see .
Am a bomb without a timer am child without a soul, am a tree without leaves , am and ocean without water .
am a child and your my womb am asking to please let me go let me explode and cease to exist , I will no longer be a pain in your *** no longer be that guilt in your heart I will no longer hold you back please just set me off my timer is in your hand , any minute now am ready to go.
I no longer live with the fear of oblivion for the timer who keeps me and the lover who lost me , the boy friend who never knew me, and the friend that saw right through me , will be the ones who will remember me for now I cease to exist
Yes its you
