"I don't love you anymore," she says as she chokes back tears. Lying through her teeth, trying to convince herself that the words she says are true, but they aren't and they never will be.
"I can live without him," she shrugs, as she tries to find him elsewhere at the bottom of bottles and bowls of herb. Sometimes, she finds comfort in the arms of strangers, and for a moment she is content, but they'll never fill the void and she knows that all too well.
"I miss you," she texts him in a moment of weakness, lying on the bathroom floor drunk off too many shots of cheap whiskey. She knows she shouldn't but she sends it anyways, thinking the regret of letting him go is worse than the pain of loving him.
"I wish I'd never met you," she screams, and these words are true. Because loving a toxic person, someone you know isn't right for you, is the worst form of torture. At times she'd take a bullet because it might hurt less, but the sick side of her loves the pain and she keeps coming back...
*She still doesn't know why.
You were the hardest to love and the hardest to let go.