I envisioned each of my cavities as bad memories, the fillings able to lock them up so I wouldn’t have to feel them so wholeheartedly anymore. These fillings didn’t last forever though and when they wore off the past came back with a persistent vengeance.
The dentist would play these celestial piano songs that would tune out the sound of the drill. Sometimes i felt like I could get closer to you in these moments. Forced to stare up at the ceiling, I wondered if this was what you too saw in your last fleeting moments.

The novacane made me realize I didn’t want to be numb anymore, I wanted to take everything in and get over it but that’s not how grieving works. You don’t call the shots, you only hold on for your life hoping that the end, although nowhere near in sight, is good to you.
My first poem was about you, how you’re like the sunset. Now looking back I realize you are the sunrise, washing away the worries of yesterday. Bringing in new light and a clean slate, Your smile is the beginning not the end. I refuse to use past tense when it comes to you because I keep you alive with the words I speak and the memories I keep.

Whenever I’m lost I wake for the sunrise and find myself again.
Whenever I feel like I lost you I wake for the sunrise and find you again.