I was watching the
Nutcracker,
stage drinking blue
The violins
pizzicato,
pizzicato
the wood sprung floor
breathing with the knock
of ballet shoes

I was watching the
Nutcracker,
sitting in the
mezzanine,
Mezzanine
the red kiss of
cherry wood and
green,
I live in
the mezzanine

I was watching the
Nutcracker,
peering into the
pit,
a small gap in the
stage floor where
I could see your
wrist,
holding your bow,
swaying your
bow,
pushing back and forth making my
carpal tunnel
ache, oh your
bow

I was watching the
Nutcracker
and you were playing
the score
Tchaikovsky
Tchaikovsky
beneath the
stage floor

Looking in the mirror
for imperfections
the wild hair,
a stray eye,
destiny's inheritance.
We lean in
to magnify the flaws.

When the real mirror
is coming to lunch,
ringing up our groceries,
delivering our mail,
returning home.

Alone....... we go out
in search of the mirror.
We  never stop looking.
we  never give up
our quest
for our love.

suddenly it appears
in my peripheral periphery
i look like a rabbit
that's just had an epiphany
and stopped and thought, wait!
i could do so much better
i'm right here with you
i should never have let her
say such shackulous things
that flitter and flatter
and cast so much doubt
oh! i wanted to tell her
to not make a shout
he's such a nice fella
he runs and he rides
with the seas and the tides
and takes her to places
he's hidden inside
and inside those places
a crowning awaits
that criminally crawlingly
counterfeit space!

years later, when i think
that i've gathered my garb
and drenched the poor dude
in what most think is arb
and try to reclaim
what i thought i had lost
i didn't consider
what could it have cost?
it couldn't be much
i'm not worth alot
i'm not that much more
than you'd find in the lot
and daringly, raring with
all of my pride
i suddenly showed
what i'd hidden inside

and all in an instant
it all disappeared
those things that i wanted
and totally feared
were vanished along
with my prickly beard
begone! it said with
with a huffulous gruff
you won't find us here
we just don't give a fluff!
we don't want your type
or your arty-farty ways
there's nobody here who
invited you anyways
but that was a while ago
and if your intent
was to drive me away
then i shouldn't have sent
my lawyer to see you
yeah, he knows what's best
what's best for the rest
should be put to the test!

but time has moved on
and i'll never remember
what you had in mind
that fateful september
when you stole my heart
with a bit of panache
and a twist of the wrist
and a crudulous crash
and made me see clearly
how foolish i'd been
to not see the wood
nor the trees inbetween
for this i am grateful
it could have been worse
it could have been me
in the back of the hearse
but the thing that you are
and the kindness you show
takes nothing from those
that are wanting to grow
and that is why you
amongst all of the many
are worth diamonds and gold
and don't cost a penny

skidoosh

These thoughts, these thoughts,
Will spiral down the rabbit hole.
Upon thousands and thousands
No one can see inside,
These thoughts, these thoughts,
Such killers of mine
Call past the time,
That can no longer wait
How deep is this grave?
These thoughts, these thoughts,
The blood that runs through our veins,
Your skeletons in my closet
Are secrets of twisted fate.
These thoughts, these thoughts,
Oh how intriguing.
The thought of how;
If you could read my mind,
Would you be smiling?