I am the disappeared
my name spoken no more
by the tongues of zealous lovers.
I will not weep as my eyes look upon my banished heart
nor will I revel in it's decay
I will only mourn that time in it's passing is not as brief as your passion for my smile.

And if these words should touch your heart
when dance they will past jaded eyes,
weave subtle smiles as tears depart,
from broken hearts and pretty lies.

And if my song it moves your soul
to dance in rhythm to it's beat
then I will sing until you're whole
and darkest fears admit defeat.

Then I will know I've played my part
in bringing light to fractured shore
and I will keep your hand in mine
until the darkness leaves your door.

I am broken
I am scars
I am silence
I am darkness
I am trouble.
I am *****
I am damaged
I am faults wrapped in eager flaws.
I am unrepentant
I am shamed
I am shattered
I am irreparable.

I am lost.

I am every child that was ever taken too soon from the breast of its mother.
I am every girl who's innocence was shredded by greedy hands and hungry mouths.
I am every pill I ever lined up and swallowed in the hope of sating the voice that begged for my passing.
I am every whiskey I ever chased into oblivion with another...and another ....and another.

I am all these things

and yet

I am hope
I am beauty
I am laughter
I am free.
I am honesty
I am belief
I am truth.
I am.
I am worthy...
I. am. worthy.
I am healing.
I am loved.
Finally.

Oh to be there when you wake, your skin sweet and warm with the echoes of slumber. To watch as your smile dawns, more beautiful than any sunrise that has ever brought my world to life. 

To place my head upon your shoulder, my fingers coiled around yours, as our limbs tangle in hope of purchase against our parting and kisses bloom sweeter than any gift man's heaven could bestow.

Oh to lay there in stillness, silent against the insistent morning as love draws breath and home is found within whispers of tomorrow.

I can remember your face, white and strangely bold

As if exposed too often to the moon.

Your eyes of blue were strangely old; As if exposed to pain,

Often and too soon.

I remember your body pale and white;

The beat of your heart like a bird in flight.

And summers have passed since loves first met.

But I remember when we lay together for the first time;

As the stars smiled and the moon said “excuse me”

And tiptoed away.